I taught myself to play guitar.

True fact right there.
And I am playing guitar right now.

He has breakfast and I sit and talk.
Different people, if any, are with us.

Then we walk to the point in school where we split ways to go to class.

I'm okay with this.
Friendship is better than nothing.
Nothing is worse than everything.

The weather is nice today.
I am outside.
Playing guitar.

Keep Floatin'

I am no longer a chicken!

I told him how I feel.
...Really?, Did you really?
Yes, actually, thanks for believing me.

I set up to hang with him after school.
We decided to go to the swings before the buses came.
We sat for a good half hour before I even brought anything about it up.
Then I told him about that list of goals.
But not randomly, the conversation flowed.
Anyway... I ended up telling him that one of the things on the list was
to tell the guy that I like that I like him.
In response, he says, "Who is it?"
So I say, "It is a really nice guy who goes to this school..."
"Is it me?"
I know!
At that moment, I was thinking...
"this is either going to go really well or horribly"
I say "Maybe.... yes"
And then there was just silence.
*cricket cricket*
In the end what he basically ended up saying was that
he wanted to "get to know me better" and
"sorry I can't give you a more definite answer about how I feel"
Which sucks... but ISN'T a "I don't like you"
It is more of a "I want to get to know you better"
Then we talked about some stuff...
From here my memory gets foggy.
Yeah, "foggy".

Either way, we walked to the buses together and parted ways.
He has his running thing after school and I get picked up.
So, I can check "tell boy that I like him" off of my mental list.
Unfortunately not "have boyfriend".
Sigh.

I'm kind of sad.
But I don't know why.
I guess because he was obviously trying to be nice.
And doesn't like me.
But its okay.
It is just saddening.
I'll be over it soon enough.

I have plans to hang with him tomorrow morning again.
I'm good with being friends.
Friends is better than never talking.

I don't know what the weather is supposed to be like tomorrow.
I don't plan on finding out.

On the bright side, I finally told him.

Keep Floatin'

I saw him in the morning today.

We talked for a good 20 minutes.
I am supposed to meet up with him again tomorrow.
I wanted to be alone, but one of my friends decided to tag along.
And make a huge note of the fact that she would be there.
She knows that I like him.
I am going to talk to her when she goes onto chat.

I haven't felt to great lately.
I have tons and tons of work to do.
American Idol results are on tonight.

It rained today.
Supposed to rain tomorrow.

Keep Floatin'

Nothing exciting happened today.

I am not feeling to well.
It is also dreary and rainy outside.
It is supposed to be nice next week though.
Just in time for my birthday!

Which I have nothing planned for.

I walked my dog after school.
Before school, I saw the guy I like.
Twice.

One was in the hall and he said Hi.
I said Hi back :)

The other time was in the cafeteria.
He didn't see me, I don't think.

My friend was with me and kept saying,
"so are you going to go talk to him?"
Which would be okay if:
1. our cafeteria didn't echo
2. she had whispered
3. she wasn't the loudest friend I have

So that was awkward for me
yeah.

And I am 90% sure I failed an in-class essay today.
To put it briefly:
I only wrote the introduction and the first body paragraph.
Oops.
There goes my history grade.
I plan to talk to my teacher tomorrow about extra credit.

After I make up a vocabulary quiz in English.
And before I go see my chemistry teacher about making up a major test that I was sick for.
And that I don't know any of the information for.

I probably won't get to it all.

I am so stupid for leaving it for one day.
And tomorrow is the day I usually see the guy I like after classes.
I guess I will have to wait until next week :(

I realized something today.
I have certain things that I wanted to do before my birthday.
I have a bizarre feeling I won't do all of them.
But I added one.

Unconsciously.
It isn't a conscious list, just things that I know I want to do deep down.

The one I added?
Tell the guy that I like him.
Will I do it?
Probably not.
Why?
It is me.

My friends would tell me to go for it.
I have no clue why.
But I know they would.

They already told me to go up to him and kiss him.
I just don't get that.
I am just becoming friends with him.

What if I tell him and he doesn't like me back
and then he thinks it is awkward between us?

I don't want to lose him as a friend.

I would be fine with rejection, I can still be friends.
For some reason, the guy is always awkward though.

I am not that much of a freak that I don't get over crushes.
But there is always this rush that I get from talking to them.
And the rush from telling them that I like them?
Well, it makes my legs shake and my stomach to twist.
But I know it makes me stronger in the long run.

What is the worst that could happen?
"I like you"
"Me too, you are a nice person"
"No, as in I like you like you"
"Oh, well that is great and all but, uh, I gotta go"
//"Oh, well that is great and all but, uh, I don't feel the same way"
"Oh okay"

Boohoo?
I mean, it has happened before.
But I have only stayed friends with one of them.
*cough*

Not that it has happened that many times.
Laugh out loud..
I make it sound like I have done this dozens of times.

Well, this post has been long enough and touched on enough topics.

It is supposed to rain again tomorrow, I believe.

Keep Floatin'

My pinky toes sit sideways. And can't sit normally.

I ran more than I have in a long while.
It wasn't very far.
But it was enough to make me tired.
I really need to get back into my usual workout stuff.
I was being stupid to not amp up my time in the gym over break.
Oh well, its over now.

Onto the real stuff that I care about.
Just kidding.
Kind of.
Either way.

I approached the guy I like today.
He was with a group of his friends.
He actually turned away from his friends to talk to me for a few minutes.
It was nice.
Does that mean something?

Should I over analyze this?

I think I will leave this one.

I am thinking about doing an interesting fact daily.
About myself, of course.
But I would run out of things.
Quickly.
So, maybe just interesting facts when they come up.
Maybe make the interesting facts the title?
Oh, ideas, ideas!
That way, it is discreet, but still interesting.

Usually, my titles have to do with what I am talking about.
When I have a fact about myself I will use that as my title.
I might talk about it, I might not.

This title was originally:
"I ran."
I am about to change it.
3...
2...
1...
Changed!

I think it is supposed to rain a lot this week.
Sadly.

Keep Floatin'

The last day.

Vacation is over at 7:40 am tomorrow.
I still have a little homework left.
The majority of my friends are busy with family things or babysitting today.
I just want to do the little homework I have and go out.

Looks like those plans are ruined.

I am hungry.
I woke up a little over an hour ago.
And have yet to have food.
Which is fine, but now I am hungry.

I am kind of excited for tomorrow though.
I get to see the friends that I didn't get to see over break.
And I get to finally get all my makeup work done.
And get back to a normal pace.

Ha!

I think it is supposed to rain tomorrow.
Boo.

Keep Floatin'

I. Am. Exhausted.

I know, I missed Friday!
But I am so tired anyway.
School starts again on Monday.
Uh-oh.
I have work to do!

I can't stop thinking about the guy I like.
It has become almost problematic.
But then I told myself to just put him in the back of my mind and focus.
I now have the majority of my homework done.
Only a few more subjects to go!
...then studying...

I am going to try to hang out with someone tomorrow.
Probably won't, but effort counts for something, right?
No?
Oh, okay.

Well, then, I best be off if I want a chance at hanging out.

Keep Floatin'

BEST DAY EVAR!!!

OMG OMG OMG
I MIGHT USE ALL CAPS.
no thats annoying.
haha.

today was fantasticalllllll
omgg
he is soooo nice
and so sweet
and we sat next to each other in the movie
we saw Alice in Wonderland

it was okay.

back to the point!
before the movie we played the arcade games together.
we played a shooting game
it was AWESOME

after the movie we went to the mall
i can't even begin to explain how awesome it was
i got his numbahhh
yeahyeah

i can't wait until i see him next
or talk to him next
or hang with him next

hanging with him would be nice
oh so nice.

today was great.

Keep Floatin'

Today is the day!!

We fixed all the plans!
I am hanging out with the guy I like today!
Well, and a friend.
We are hanging as a group.
xD

We are going to see the movie "Alice in Wonderland"
And I am giving both of them a ride.
Of course, my mom is driving.
But they both seemed excited to have somebody drive them.

The kids around here don't seem to have rides anywhere.
You get there by yourself or you don't get there at all.
So my parents usually give the rides.
I know, right?

After the movie we are going to hang out in the mall.
We just have to walk a little in the rain to get to the mall.
I am so excited.

I will try to update later on how it goes.
I might just have to post tomomorrow.

Eep!

Keep Floatin!

Just got back

I am back from hanging out with my friend.
We met at 1:30 in the park.
Then we walked around and talked.
And got drinks and snacks.
Then we parted ways at 5:00.

I have plans to hang with my crush tomorrow!
And a friend.
But still hanging out.
First step.

Unfortunately, it is supposed to rain tomorrow.
We want to see a movie.
He suggested Hot Tub Time Machine.
I just realized that it is rated R.

Plans = ruined.
Kinda.
We are trying to figure out what else to see.
But he is slow to answer.
Because it is through Facebook inbox.
And obviously he isn't always on.
Nor am I.
Pft...

Anyway.
I will try to post on how it goes.
Unless it goes horribly.
Or doesn't happen.
Then I will probably be upset.

Maybe it won't rain tomorrow.
Doubt it.

Keep Floatin'

Coughety Cough Cough

I am still coughing away.
But I have to get better by the end of today.

I am hanging with a friend tomorrow.
And on Thursday...
I am hanging with more people.
I know, not too exciting.
But getting out is better than being stuck with my family every day of vacation.
Now, I know that my family is better than others but I still need a break.
And so do my friends, so we are taking a break together.
I am not sure what is going on today.

I am thinking about showing off some Chinese typing abilities.
Why?
No clue.
Should I?
Meh, why not?
I will tell you about my family.
Just a little.

我的家有五个人。我的家有爸爸， 妈妈，两个哥哥， 和我。我的家也有一只狗。她叫 Scotch。
我的生日是五月是号。Scotch 的生日是五月三十号。我爱我的家。

And since I am positive everybody can read that perfectly, no need to translate, right?
Wait. What's that?
Oh, oh, I see...
Okay, I'll translate it.

My family has 5 people in it. My family has my dad, mom, two older brothers, and me. My family also has a dog. Her name is Scotch. My birthday is May 10th. Scotch's birthday is May 30th. I love my family.

I know more than this, but it is the most I wish to say right now.

I hear it is supposed to rain Thursday so I hope it doesn't impede my ability to hang out.

Keep Floatin'

LemonMint and Cherry Cough Drops

I am addicted to / completely in love with Ricola cough drops.
Especially the LemonMint ones.
I got some in bulk today.
It is almost depressing how excited I was to see them.

They came with Cherry ones too.
Oh and to top it off, THEY ARE SUGAR-FREE SUCKAHHH

I had never tried cherry before.

THEY ARE AWESOME!!!

I was out all day.
Didn't do much though.
I got a new hair straightener/wave-er.
It is the size of my palm.
I hope that doesn't get in the way.

My friend had a preggo scare last night.
Falso alarm-o.
Luckily.
Not much drama involved except...
she is an idiot.
I told her that she couldn't know 2 days after being with the guy.
She realized I was right and moved on.
We'll know more in a few weeks
:o
Ikr.

I hear the weather is supposed to be okay tomorrow.
I might be hanging out with my crush.
More news will be posted about it.

Keep Floatin'

Wiped.

I am so tired.
Especially considering I wasn't feeling well.
And I went out till midnight.
I shouldn't have gone out at all.

My friend called though and I couldn't resist.
I was stuck in the house for 2 days prior and was ready to gtfo.
:]

Hopefully I can find somebody to hang out with today.

-Transition to my paranoia-

It is back.
I keep thinking my friend likes the guy I like.
Although I have talked to her about it, she seems to flirt with him.
I mean maybe she is just being friendly, but why can't she teach me how to be friendly?!?
Haha.
I am not so great at making friends.
I don't always give the right first impression.
Or second.
Or third.

It takes time to get to know me.
Heck, I still haven't figured myself out.

All I know about myself right now is that at the time, I am really into honesty.
Or rather, being honest.
Because I can't make others be honest to me
//do I really want them to be?

Laugh out loud.
Yeah.
I spelled it out.

For example:
Last night, I told my friend that it wasn't the guy's fault, but hers.
What kind of friend does that?
I still regret it.
But she told me she was glad I told her.
Because she needed someone to tell her.
So, I don't know, I guess it was right and wrong at the same time.

I am going to need to think about this.

Until next time...

Keep Floatin'

I know, I am late posting

I have about 3 seconds until I fall asleep.
Long day.
Longer night.
I want to sleep.

I went out with a friend for dinner and chilling.
Just got back.

Good night.

Keep Floatin'

Home again...

I stayed home sick again today.
And vacation is next week.
I better feel better soon.
I cannot miss vacation.
I have been waiting for vacation since last vacation.

On a different note...
My birthday is in 3 weeks!

I am trying to figure out what to do.
And who to do what I don't know what I want to do with.
...read it again, it makes sense.

Of course my birthday falls on a Monday this year.
School day.
Yuck.
Also: the Sunday before my birthday is Mother's Day.
So it is difficult to celebrate on that day.

Now, you know when my birthday is.

That's right -- May 10th.

I have to figure out what I am going to do ASAP.
I am considering just going to the mall with friends.
Or just hanging out normally.

Wouldn't it be cool if I had the courage to ask the guy I like to hang out on my birthday?
But that would be weird.
I guess it would be cool to ask him before my birthday.

I just realized...
I never said how old I am turning.
Hmm, should I?
Well, I will say one thing about my age:
I am still going to be a teenager.

I think I am going to ponder this whole asking the guy out thing.

Keep Floatin'

Sick day

I hate staying home sick.
Which I had to do today.
Maybe I will feel better later.

Also, only 1 of my 2 top favorites is still in the running.
Yes, I know.
How could I call it wrong?

Well, I generally do guess these things incorrectly.
Wait--what am I even talking about?

Oh! Thats right!
American Idol!

Andrew Garcia has now been voted off of American Idol.
Sadly.
But!
Lee Dewyze is still singing strong.

I am going to go rest up a bit more.

Keep Floatin'

Not feeling too well :(

i am not in tip-top shape right now.
Hopefully I will feel better sooner rather than later.

Vacation starts Friday at 1:55 pm :D
Id est the end of school this week.
Then we get a week off :)
Finally.

I haven't seen the guy I like in what feels like forever.
But then again, I am a teenager.
Everything is dramatic and exaggerated.

Okay now it is time for me to go off on a random note about a slutty friend that really will probably not have a good ending or be a good story...

I have a friend who is a virgin.
Well, I have many friends that are virgins.
But this one in particular will be spotlighted today.
Until I lose my train of thought and get tired of typing, at least.

This friend has met an older boy.
Just one grade older than herself.
And he goes to a boarding school.
Yeah.

They met through mutual friends.
They hung out with the mutual friends and met.
Liking each other, they went on a date.
To keep to the point:
They ended up making out on a bed only wearing underwear.
In a matter of 2 hours.

Horny teenagers much?
Pft.

At the end of the whole thing, they took a walk together.
My friend says to him "so are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?"
(who says that? i mean, really?)
and he says: [paraphrasing]
"I am not really looking to commit to anything right now because I have had a bad history with relationships, but I was hoping we could be friends that get together like this"

Basically a f*ck buddy.
Aka friend with benefits.

My friend is conflicted now.
She doesn't know what to do next time.
I told her not to do anything sexual.
She said she wanted to.
I said she is looking for a relationship.
She agrees.
She still wants to have sex with him.

I don't understand.
Maybe I just have the gift (curse?) of perspective.

I hear it is supposed to rain tomorrow.

Keep Floatin'

Glee returns tonight!

American Idol and Glee are on tonight!
I can't wait.
Only 12 minutes until it all starts.

Which is why I have to go do the rest of my mounds of homework.
So unfortunate.
I have to finish.

I had a picnic today.
I don't remember if I mentioned it earlier.

I have a "pimp-nic basket"
Id est, a picnic basket with speakers and a radio attached to it.
:D

I plugged in my iPod and chilled for about 2 hours.
Food, music, frisbee, friends.
Good break during the school day.

Unfortunately, I arrived to my next class and had a pop quiz.
That I did not do too well on.
Because I was misinformed about which notes to take.
Oh well, that is over.

Back to work!
10 minutes now!!

Keep Floatin'

Productivity = all time low

I have done almost nothing productive since I got home.

And I am eating now, so I want to keep this short.
My legs kind of hurt from all the dancing on Saturday night.

House is on tonight.
Apparently, Hugh Laurie directed this episode.
This excites me.
Not in that way, pervert.

I finished my project in art class and brought it home today.
Yes, an art class I don't belong in.
Still, I did it.

I have to do /some/ homework then watch House and study.

Oh! Also..
My phone is broken.
And is really expensive to fix (I got it looked at)
So I am stuck for now.

It is bad.

I'll deal for now.

Keep Floatin'

I got home at one in the morning anyway

It wasn't worth posting at 1 am.
I was so tired.
I am still tired.

I have to write a paper for tomorrow too.
I danced for about 3 hours last night.
I have to start that paper.
And finish it.
Like now.

I just got home from walking my dog.
Again.
Everyday seems to be the same for me.
Its upsetting and relieving at the same time.
Not too many surprises.

The weather is nice today.

Keep Floatin'

I talked to her

Yeah, I told my friend about my mentally insane thoughts.
She thought about it and thought I wasn't crazy but that it wasn't true.
Or she was saying that.

Either way, I am going to take it as it is and move on.
I want to play guitar.

Haha.
So random..
I am going to play though.

Tomorrow night I am going to this thing.
Specific, right?

Either way...
I don't know if I will be able to post.
If not, I'll try to post on Sunday.

Rain Day #1

Keep Floatin'

I can't believe I am this paranoid

I am becoming more mentally insane than before.

I didn't know that was possible, but it seems to be so.

My friend is also becoming friends with the guy I like.
That isn't a problem with me.
Or at least wasn't.
It isn't that I don't want her to be friends with him.

Just as a paranoid teenage girl with the stalking abilities that Facebook allows...
He responds to her messages right away and tries to respond to what she says after she says stuff.
And I will say something to him and he will take forever to respond and it will be vague and not anything definite.

Basically, I am jealous.

She gets to see him all the time.
She sees him in the halls at school.
On her walk home on Thursdays.
And at random times.

And this guy is just plain confusing.
He is nice to people in general, so I can't tell when/if he is being nice nice.
Yes, that actually makes sense in my head.

I always act like an idiot around him too.
And I think of things to say after he walks away.
I also say things I regret.
I don't have an example but I cringe in my head when I talk to him.
A lot.

I don't talk to him a lot, but I cringe a lot.

This is too complicated for my mind to compute.
Or put down all my thoughts.
I just needed to rant to somebody.
This is the best I have for ranting.

If I rant to a friend all hell could break loose.

I think I will tell her what I think.
We are reallyyyyy close friends.
Talk to each other on a daily basis.
Know a lot about each other.

I'll talk to her about my paranoia.
She will deny everything, make me more paranoid.
The usual.

While I keep freaking out about this and probably lose sleep,

Keep Floatin'

I don't have a title for today.

I am so tired.

I worked out today.
After walking my dog.
The usual.

Unusually:
Bones ...
100TH EPISODE
TONIGHT!

I am so excited.

But in order to watch that...
I have to do work now.

Keep Floatin'

Today was AMAZING!

I talked to him today.
For a full half hour.
Almost.
It felt like an eternity.

It was a pretty good talk.
I get so nervous around him.
And I said this:
"I don't know why, but I run out things to say when I talk to you"
I know, how stupid?
Then he says,
"Why is that?"
And what do I say?
Well, not wanting to say because its /him/
I say:
"Because I get nervous when I talk to new people..."

And he says:
"Why is that?"
So I go on to tell him about my childhood.
I know, right, great way to get him to like me.

Either way, I talked truthfully and as calmly as possible the whole time.
I gave him time to talk, but he didn't say much.

At the beginning of our conversation there was a really long silence.
I feel as though I had interrupted what he was doing when I came over to say hello.

But we smiled at each other and I tried to keep the conversation going.

When he had to go get his stuff in his locker,
he asked me to go with him.

I think that is better than saying "I have to go"
And he invited me to walk with him to look for his bus.

I like his chill personality and he listens.
He got a haircut too.
He looks really good.
And he is so sweet.

Maybe I won't mess this up?
Probably not, but hey, one can never know!

Keep Floatin'

I only got 4 seconds to make this post.

Say that to the tune of "4 Minutes"
That Madonna/Justin Timberlake song...
Something like that.
I have so much work to do.

I have been thinking a lot lately, too.
Maybe I will share when I have more time.

Thinking + Me = Dangerous

Dang it.
I have to go do more work.

Keep Floatin'

No post tomorrow :(

I don't really have much to say.
I'm wiped.
So tired.

I can't post again tomorrow.
And I will try to say a short little something on Tuesday.
No guarantees.

I figure a daily blog doesn't /have/ to be daily.
Rather, every day that I am able to post.

I feel as though no excuses are needed for a voluntary daily blog.
By excuses I mean when I miss a day.

I have to go do some work and get some rest.

Keep Floatin'

Only a few seconds

I only have a couple of seconds to post.
I am heading out in a few minutes.

I just got back from doing a little shopping and walking my dog.
Now, I am going out again.
Downtown. :/

The only problem is..
I haven't done homework in a couple of days.
Or even looked at homework.

I know, I know --
How is this a problem?

Well, I have a lot of make up work.
I haven't really started on that paper either.
Yeah.

Okay I gotta go now.

Keep Floatin'

Outside internet

Posting from outside seemed like a good idea.
I was right.
It is so pretty out!

I spent the majority of my day outside.

First, I went out with my parents.
Just running errands.

Then I met a friend at the park.
I brought my new Little Martin guitar.
We played for a couple of hours.

Then I went downtown for a bit.
I am back now.
Obviously.

I just got off of a video chat with my friend.
It was enjoyable video chatting from outside.
I was playing with my dog as well.

On the walk to the park, this truck passed my friend and I.
We looked up because they honked and slowed down.
The guy was a complete creep.
He blew a kiss at us.
We couldn't help but laugh at his creepiness.

Then, in the park, we saw too many people that we know.
It was okay, but we were playing guitar so it was kind of embarrassing.

Some guys climbed a tree.
They pulled the branches down, shimmied up to the top and sat there.
Then they climbed down.
It was pretty pointless.

My fingers hurt from playing guitar for so long.
>no calluses yet<

After reflecting on my day, I realize that I have barely eaten all day.
Now, I am hungry.
Haha.

Keep Floatin'

Feeling Good

Today was not as bad as I thought.
Every class went pretty smoothly.
I didn't have much trouble catching up.

And I saw the guy I like.
He got a haircut :]

Then after school...
I walked my dog
lifted weights
and
rode my bike for a couple of miles.

My thighs are still burning a little.
Tomorrow might be painful.

Bones was new tonight.
I have to go catch up on some stuff.
A lot of stuff.

Sunny day today!

Keep Floatin'